piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize