So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
