Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
