You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I smell stomach acid.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
