i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
