I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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