Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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