I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
