I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
