i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
