Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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