oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She announced her abortion via fbk
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'