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dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
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