I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference