the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office