I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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