similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
