Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
