I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize