you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
