I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
