Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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