my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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