my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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