On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
