How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
