Duck Duck Cougar?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
