idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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