It's Friday. Sex?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want her autograph on my taint
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
