Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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