i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
