He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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