I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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