so that wasnt chicken after all
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am spending my child support on dildos
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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