Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
