i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
