So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
