that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
