She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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