So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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