2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
