do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
