I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
