Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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