You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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