Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
