Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
