theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
