maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
