Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
