So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize