If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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