Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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