How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
