I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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