Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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