just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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