She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
