Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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