On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize