I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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