did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
