Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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