Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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